80s Commercials Vol. 225

Recently I've been watching a lot of retro 80's and 90's commercials on YoutTube. Some of these old commercials are great, some are not so great; either way, I thought it would be fun if I started writing reviews of them. Seeing as how this is my first review, it's probably not going to be the greatest of reviews, but hopefully these will get better, and hopefully you'll enjoy them.


80's Commercials Vol 225

Is that James Earl Jones? Oh wait, it's quickly switched to Elliott Gould being interviewed by what appears to be a psychologist, but then we discover he's being interviewed for Playboy. Cut to shots of Playboy writers and cartoonists working in their offices, followed by the obligatory scene of a photographer taking pictures of a Playboy model (and random head-shots of girls). A few more obligatory shots talking about their other sections (style, music, etc), and then cut to the heart of the matter - signing up for a yearly subscription! Actually, the deal is pretty sweet, you get 12 issues for $18.50 - half off of the regular 12 month subscription plan. What really surprises me the most is what the base cost per issue is; at $18.50 you're getting each issue for $1.54, and even at $37 you're getting each issue for $3.08 Today, even with most things being digital, you can't find subscription prices that low!

The next ad is for Shoe-Town. This ad starts with a voice-over talking to a woman as she's leaving a Shoe-Town store. I always enjoy commercials like this, because if you saw somebody walking out of a store and answering questions that nobody was actually asking, you'd think that person was crazy. I'm guessing that Shoe-Town was a rural/small town only type of store, as the first thing the VO says is, "you look like a lady who'd go to the city to buy shoes." Anyways, the commercial goes on with the VO talking about brand name shoes, and the lady saying she prefers Shoe-Town because their prices are up to 40% lower than other shoe stores. The gem of this ad though is when the VO says, "but don't you miss the ambiance of those posh department stores?" To which the woman responds, "Ambiance? Well, if he's a new Italian designer, Shoe-Town already has him." LMFAO! WAY TO MAKE YOUR CUSTOMERS LOOK LIKE IDIOTS, SHOE-TOWN! I get that you're trying to put down the high end and high priced shoe stores, but you shouldn't make your own customers look like idiots at the same time. I hope whoever approved this ad never worked in marketing again.

Up next in this wonderful series of ads, we have the random tail end of a commercial for a book you can order by mail, something called Benefit Book. I wish I had more details on this one, but whoever was recording this commercial didn't do their job properly.

Next up, we have a classic Bill Cosby Jello Pudding commercial. My absolute favourite part of this commercial is the fact that Cosby promotes Jello Pudding as "being good for you" because it's made with fresh wholesome milk. Never mind all the sugar that's in it, the fact that it's made with milk negates the sugar, thus making it good for a child to have. God I love the 80s!

Following the pudding commercial, whoever recorded these ads is once again failing at their jobs, as we get a whole bunch of channel flipping before landing in the middle of a Nissan truck ad. The thing that stands out most to me is this: SOMEBODY WAS RECORDING EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE COMMERCIALS! I had always assumed that when I saw a series of old commercials online, it was people who had recorded full shows, then taken the time to edit and upload the ads only. But this shows me that there were people who were exclusively, and purposely recording JUST ADS!

Moving on, we have a beer commercial for Michelob. There's not much to say about this one, it was a bland commercial, and as a consumer it doesn't make me want to buy the product; which is probably why whoever recorded these commercials started channel flipping again. At the end of this series of channel flips, we land on the end of an Excedrin commercial, followed by an ad for Olivia's Greatest hits. I'm assuming it's Olivia Newton John, but that's not really specified. GIVE ME FULL COMMERCIALS!

We then get a Tab Cola ad, where one guy is trying to show another guy pictures of his family at what appears to be a random company gathering. Guy 2 isn't paying attention to the pictures because he's staring at a beautiful woman. The woman then approaches the two men, and it's revealed that she's the wife of guy 1. Despite this, guy 2 continues to check her out and then says "beautiful." He immediately looks embarrassed after this remark; maybe he should have been paying attention to the pictures. Anyways, it ends with the three of them standing around each other semi awkwardly, because classic juxtaposition!

We now get, not commercials, but TV spots talking about what's going to happen next time on Happy Days, Joanie Loves Chachi, and Hart to Hart. Gotta love TV bumpers!

Following the bumpers, we have a Chevrolet spot advertising a sale that they're having, where they're trying to sell 600 cars. What sticks out most about this spot is just how awful looking a lot of cars were in the 80s.

News bumper. I love and hate old news bumpers at the same time, because they always get me interested in the story, but then I never find out what happened.

Tail end of a commercial for The Magic Pan, which I'm guessing is a restaurant. Again, give me full commercials, damnit!

We now have a commercial for Hebrew National Beef Franks, WHICH IS NOW MY FAVOURITE COMMERCIAL! I have personally never seen a commercial for kosher food products before, so this caught me completely off guard. The commercial has Uncle Sam holding a hot dog while a voice-over talks about all the ingredients the government says is ok to put in hot dog, but which are not ok for Hebrew National to put in them because the ingredients aren't kosher. The commercial ends with the voice-over saying "we have to answer to a higher authority (God)." The camera than cuts to a shot of the sky as the product is displayed and the ad ends.

Castrol GTX ad. Same generic ads as they've always run, nothing exciting or noteworthy here.

Snack ad for something called Bountiful, a snack consisting of almonds and pistachios. Set against the background of people riding their bikes, Bountiful is promoting snacks to those who want to live a healthy/active lifestyle, and essentially that they are Nature's treat.

Dunkin Donuts newspaper coupon ad! Only good for Munchkins' though; can't use the coupon for coffee, full donuts, etc.

What the hell? Some kid leading a camel through the desert? What the shit is this? Hmmm.... the camel appears to be carrying something.... It's Wyler's fruit drinks! It's not already made drinks, it's powdered shit that you have to add water to in order to make; which is awesome for this kid, because he has a shitload of this stuff in a desert WITH NO WATER! Lesson here, don't take Wyler's into the desert, because it will do you no good.

Hey! It's Bill Cosby again. It must be another Jello Pudding commercial. Nope....... Coke. Wait, what? Cosby did Coke ads? Are Coke and Jello owned by the same company? Or were they back then? This is so weird, I don't remember Cosby being a spokesperson for Coke, but apparently he was. Anyways, this ad is basically putting down the Pepsi Taste Challenge, saying that more people - 60,000,000 people daily to be exact - drink Coke. Coke doesn't mention if that 60 million daily is worldwide or just in the States, and they also don't mention the daily number of Pepsi consumers. I need answers, Coke! I can't just blindly accept your tagline of "Coke Is It" if I don't have all the facts in front of me!


Anyways, that's all for this set of ads, the video for it is posted below, if you want to watch. Hopefully you enjoyed reading this, leave me any feedback or constructive criticism you might have in the comment section.