It's time for another review of classic 80's commercials, or as I'm going to call it going forward: The Not Good Enough For Buzzfeed Blog. Today I'll be reviewing from 80's Commercials volume 337. Let's get started!
First up, we have a commercial from McDonald's. This ad is introducing two new breakfast sandwiches. In addition to the classic Egg McMuffin, McDonald's is now giving us the sausage McMuffin, and the Sausage and Egg McMuffin. Why have only 1 choice in breakfast sandwiches, when you can have 3!? Well, technically it's really more like two and a half. Now McDonald's has like 8 breakfast menu options, so suck on that people from the 80s!
A Las Vegas commercial commercial is up next; and I guess there was a strike going on at the time, because the commercial asks you not to let the strike affect your plans to visit Vegas. What better way is there to tell your disgruntled employees that they don't matter than with an ad telling people to spend money that the employees won't get?
Splendor Shampoo is up next. Nothing interesting about this ad. It features a dude talking about how great the product is while a woman washes her hair with the shampoo, so a really standard hair product commercial.
Dexatrim diet pills. This ad features a "pharmacist" - ya sure, like you're not just an actress playing a part - claiming that when she decided that she wanted to lose weight, she knew to take Dexatrim because she works in a pharmacy. As if pharmacies don't have MULTIPLE brand choices for weight loss pills. Don't push your agenda on me, lady!
Tree Top Apple Juice. A typical drink ad with a montage of different people drinking their product (gotta love 80s montages). Some of the things in the montage include a construction worker drinking the juice on the job, a kids baseball team celebrating a win while drinking it, and a man sitting on his couch with his dog while he has a glass of apple juice beside him.
KUTE FM radio. This was a really shitty and boring ad done in the style of AHA's Take On Me music video; it was part real, part sketch animation. This ad didn't really grab me at all, and it certainly wouldn't have enticed me to listen to that radio station.
Pontiac Firebird Trans Am. They try to make this ad look futuristic, starting off with the car being designed on a computer screen, then ending with a dude driving the car down a futuristic looking highway. I guess this was a cool commercial for the 80s, but comes off really cheesy watching it today.
Chief Auto Parts commercial, featuring Don Adams (and a woman). Don is blindfolded while Barbara hands him different products in the store. Don correctly guesses what each product is, as well as what the price is. Not sure what the point of this commercial is; perhaps it's to highlight that you know what you're getting when you shop at Chief Auto Parts. The ad ends with Don still blindfolded as he walks into a door.
Volvo. The cars in this ad look TERRIBLE; I certainly wouldn't buy one. Volvo tries to advertise themselves as the cars that smart car buyers own.
Lancers White Wine. This was a cheesy commercial which featured a guy and a girl having a glass of Lancers White Wine while they had a candlelit dinner. The guy says to the girl, "do you really have to go?" To which she replies, "well, nobody's asked me to stay." BARF! I hope you went out of business for this, Lancers.
An ad for Angels baseball is up next. This ad excites me because they were playing my beloved Blue Jays. After watching this I had to look up who won the game. Sadly, the Angels beat my Blue Jays 9-6.
Anacin 3 headache relief. Not only is this product aspirin free, but it's also doctor AND dentist recommended! Take that other products that are only recommended by dentists, or only recommended by doctors!
Club Med. Another boring ad which didn't excite me or get me interested in the product. If you want me to spend my money on your resort, Club Med, show me something more exciting.
Ole's Paint. Nothing exciting here, just advertising cans of paint for $7.99. Phyllis Diller is the celebrity spokesperson though, so there's that.
Mitsubishi Mighty Max S. This commercial is basically showing off all of the features on the truck which make it "superior" Also, apparently the S stands for "special."
The Glory Of Easter stage play. This is your typical ad for a stage play about biblical Easter. There's a ton of shots of Jesus, including the obligatory image of him wearing a crown of thorns while looking sad.
Levolor Blinds. This commercial shows blinds opening and closing as the seasons change and the years pass. This is supposed to show the longevity and durability of the blinds over a long period of time. I guess they were that reliable, as I don't see ads for this brand of blinds anymore; presumably because nobody had to go back to replace them, so the company went out of business.
Finally, we have an ad for Winchell's donuts. This commercial is to promote that you can get a dozen Winchell's donuts for just $2.79! This ad features some amazingly bad acting, culminating in a crazy old lady exclaiming, "wrap them up, sonny!"
Watch the ads here:
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