I'm back with another review of retro commercials. I know the last review was long because there were quite a few ads. The ads video I'm reviewing today had more ads than last week, but I'll try to keep things as short as I can.
The first ad is for Prodigy, a computer software put together by IBM and Sears. The ad shows a couple using their PC to shop for baby stuff. The graphics and stuff were pretty bad compared to how advanced things have become, but it was interesting watching what was no doubt one of the earliest commercials for online shopping.
News bumper mentioning a story about Cesar Chavez helping the homeless. I kind of want to hear the full story, but that's obviously not going to happen. People making these commercial compilations, TAKE NEWS BUMPERS OUT OF THESE VIDEOS!
Moving on, we have have a commercial for All stain remover laundry detergent. The ad starts with bright light emanating from behind a closed door. Three kids, being drawn towards the light, open the door and enter the room........ Before I go any further, let me just say that if I saw a bright light emanating from a closed door, my ass would be running from the house! I've seen Ghostbusters, light emanating from behind a door is not something I associate with being a good thing! Anyways, these kids enter the room and then start twirling around and stare at amazement at the box of All sitting on the washer. Where the hell are the grownups here? Get the fuck out of the house, kids, the laundry detergent is clearly possessed. Save yourselves!
Orville Redenbacher popcorn ad. Orville already looks 20 years past dead in this ad. God bless him though, he still pushed forward selling his popcorn.
McRib ad for McDonald's. Annoying voice-over with an even more annoying song jingle.
Shredded Wheats cereal commercial. Room rotates and flips upside down. Despite this, ONLY the milk pours downwards. Somehow, magically, the cereal both in the bowl and in the cereal box don't fall downwards. PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS DEFIANCE OF GRAVITY, SHREDDED WHEAT CEREAL!
Next up we have a Wendy's ad where Dave Thomas is talking about the great value meal deals that they have. Dave is so busy talking - while he's carrying around a tray of food - that he can't get a place to sit down and eat because everybody else is beating him to tables. Let this be a lesson, never shoot a commercial when you're on you're lunch break.
Who's The Boss and The Wonder Years bumpers.
Wrigley's Juicy Fruit commercial. I'll be honest, I zoned out on this one. The one thing I did notice about it was that the jingle they used in this ad was worse than The Taste Is Gonna Move You jingle they switched to.
Subaru ad. Not much to discuss here. Standard car commercial talking about how much better this car is compared to the competition.
Good old fashioned anti marijuana ad. Guess people in Washington and Colorado didn't pay attention to 80s anti doping PSAs.
Promo spot for Doogie Howser and Anything But Love.
Bounty coconut chocolate commercial. Does anybody remember this chocolate bar? Is it still around. Holy shit these things were awful! Bounty describes itself as "the taste of paradise," but it tasted more like laundry detergent smells.
Boring Gerber baby food ad.
News bumper
Back to back Luv's diapers commercials. The first one starts off with a lady, her husband, and their baby in what appears to be a bank. And while the bank person is talking, all the mom can think about is how wet her baby's diaper is getting. Terrible commercial, followed by another terrible Luv's ad right after, where nothing really happens.
We now get another set of back to back ads, this time for Toys R Us. These ads are weird and a little creepy, as they show adults playing with kids toys - one of them is even in a bathtub playing. The best part comes in the second ad with an old lady dancing with a giant inflatable dinosaur. Classic!
Downy fabric softener commercial, which also has some kind of sweepstakes contest going on. Didn't care, boring ad.
An ad for Bambi being available to own on VHS. The ad shows classic moments from the film and tells the viewer that they can now relive all their favourite moments of this classic, heartwarming movie. Of course, they leave out the part about Bambi's mom being shot.
Matchbox super fast racetrack commercial. I always wanted a matchbox racetrack as a kid, but never got one. I still want one now.
Full House and Family Matters promos.
Little Lost and Found stuffed plush animals. These things are creepy looking and sad as fuck.
Promo spot for The Final Days of Nixon. This looks interesting, and I now have to see if this was ever released on DVD.
That's it for this bunch of ads. Check out the video below to watch them for yourself.
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